The love idea.

When you wanted me I never wanted you. When you don't want me I ... want you? No. maybe.. I don't know.

I'm not in love.
The more time I spend with him the more convinced I am. I know, I know - I'm playing that naive girl role right now. It's oddly interesting. I never got the chance to actually do that.

I mean - that feeling you get where you are convinced that the person you are seeing is going to be your future.  I've always shunned this idea. I mean how can anyone who JUST STARTED? believe that they will be together forever. I found this quite stupid - I still do at times. I'm quite heartless. When I hear something like that I just wish they would break up right now just so they can reflect back on how stupid they were.

My first relationship never gave me the same rush. It's quite insane how I feel right now for CC. Feeling shy? Every time I'm at his house I never look at him when he opens the door for me. My heart seriously beats so hard. He doesn't even know that he does that to me.  Feeling so dominated. Woah. These are things I'm not use to. Every time I see him I'm thrown into this spiral (woah choice of words - pretty freaking golden) HAHAH where I'm not myself - and it doesn't bother me. It's just so foreign to me right now. Every one has to experience things at least once in their lives right? I'm becoming cheesy? .. BASICALLY - I'M BECOMING A GIRL! WHAT THE FUCKSSSS

I'm not in a relationship - but I do like this guy a lot - so you can understand why my mind is thinking like this? Right? I'm not making sense. I want to be with him - and not.

We're both young.  He knows we both don't understand what love is. That word has become my reassurance. Love.  I need to hear it - read it - feel it ;).  I'm smarter than that though- I believe this is his sweet-talking word? I mean, I know he says it because I've said it. So I'm always convinced he just says it because he knows I want to hear it. I'm right aren't I? It's such a shame there is no truth behind his words/sometimes. (I'm not twisting your words - But I know you know I'm right)

Don't give me the speech - THE SPEECH. I know it so well - It's forever tattooed on my mind. Just don't. haha. I understand completely. I mean it - jenguyenle do. FUCK HAVEN'T CRACKED A LAME JOKE IN A WHILE LOL

HIS LAME JOKE : the one about sucking life. LOLOLOL OH MY GOD.
I can't crack it cause its so R rated. :'( it's funny but no.

I know we mockingly use it against each other in text messages and in real life.
Hate to admit but at times there is truth to it. Really. :'(
Other times I just say it cause I've abused him. 'love you bby ;)' HAHAHA