AS MANY AS I CAN

Just updating my blog regularly before the new year begins.

I worked 1 - 4 today. I was alone for a bit - took it like a man. I am awesome.

MY PARENTS HAVE RETURNED!! OH MY GOD I don't need to cook clean etc. Life is complete.

You make me feel like I'm losing my virginity

The first time and the time when you touchin' me,
I make you bloom like the flower that you never seen.
Under the sun we are one buzzin energy.

Katy Perry song. Don't get any ideas I'm still a virgin. ANNA FIST BUMP!

So I have an alcoholic friend - this is so appropriate.

JeNguyen-le

If you asked me how I felt a month ago. I'd tell you I was feeling like complete shit. If you asked me how life was I'd answer with a "It's good." If you asked how my love-life was I'd break down right in front of your face. Right now. I'm at peace with this. I'm happy my ex has moved on. I'm happy I've finally grasp hold of how he feels. I have no intention of making anyone my rebound. I've read over my previous posts - it's kind of sad. haha. Myself going crazy over this guy I like. I mean I do like him - but .. woah that's just not me. To talk/type like that you know :P. But oh well. I'm not deleting those posts. Everything in my blog reflects a chapter of my life. I really can't wait to read this when I'm old and wrinkly.. with SAGGY BOOBS!.

It's official - Boobs is the word. You're probably all like "since when?!" and I'd be "since I started it, bitch!" HAHAHHA

A New Year is beginning. As my friend Raymond once said "Life is too short you're only as pretty as you are now" SOMETHING ON THOSE LINES!! Should be fortunate I even quoted you , ya bastard :P. He actually gave me a long-as speech. I was totally listening (rolls eyes). Nah Jks! I was listening. Also I'm pretty appreciative of an old friend being there for me. Johnson. HAHA you funny bastard. What you've experience in my lounge room still makes me laugh. I will forever watch the video over and over again!! HAHA. I'm so happy I've started talking to these boys this year - they are that funny side I desperately need. NO MORE GIRL HUMOUR. I CAN TOTALLY ACT LIKE THE GUY I AM NOW!!! Oh I should also mention Lenny cause he's fucking cool too. Also very funny.. and he said I'm cool .. so.. courtesy I'd say he's cool too. :D:D:D

(watching Raymond play)
Lenny : (at raymond) Go baby I love you!
Me : Are you getting turned on by him?
Lenny : Yeah, a bit
HE DOES THE FUCKING FUNNIEST SHRUGGGG. LOL MY LIFE DIES. CAUSE IT WAS SO FUNNY. HAHAHAHA.  Okay you had to be there. HAHA


ALSO.. I'LL CONTINUE TO TELL MY JOKE. CAUSE IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY!!!
Me : Hey Raymond want to hear a joke? So like if I marry someone with the surname Nguyen I'm going to name my daughter Jen. SO SHE WILL BE JEN NGUYEN. You know !!! LIKE GENUINE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Raymond : What if you marry someone with Le? So they would be Jen Nguyen LE. So Nguyen would be their middle name. So she would be GENUINELY
(DRAMATIC SOUND EFFECTS- MIND FUCKING BLOWN)
Me : FUCK THAT'S SMART!!! HAHAHAHA

SOOOOO Thanks to Raymond it is now the expression I use with CC.
Haha Why yes I did give the guy I like a blog name on here. He doesn't know yet. He's going to read this and go "wtf you named me CC, why?" and I'd explain it. Better yet I'll let him figure it out first. HAHA.

Excuse me while I annoy the fuck out of CC.

ME : ARE YOU JENGUYENLE TELLING THE TRUTH?!
BAHAHAH

Okay back to serious - biz-niz now. I'm partially happy my year ended with so very few problems. Hahah. Seriously scared that when my parents return I will not see him as much and also UNI :( . But that's just what we'll have to endure in that time. Hopefully he won't get bored of me like he promised. I know Lisa+Christina will continue to be there for me, so I'm thankful for that also..  I'm a bit heartbroken one of my friendships have changed slightly - but I can't do anything about it. It's running it's natural course.
__________

Me : You know what would be really weird?
Guy : What?
Me : Seeing a bunch of non-asians on a Hoang Do bus
Guy : True that would be weird... 
Me : It's like... how did they even...
___________

Jason : So do you still have your periods?
Me : Yeah, it's so annoying.
Jason : Why?
Me : Cause it's New Years soon and I want to look pretty and all.
Jason : So if you have your period you can't look pretty at New Years? I told you .. should just use Super-large tampons.
Me : THERE IS NO SUCH THING JASON! LOL we've established this already the last time!!

_________________________
So all CC wants to do is sit down and talk about feelings and unicorns and his periods.
I say....

No I'm not like that. That Gif just looked extremely hot ;) Her face is so demanding.. and mesmerizing.. Why Yes I will lesbian you. BUT NO I CAN'T! I promised I'd lesbian Anna :(. Okay Anna you can join us :D It'd be  Ménage à trois. :D HAHAHAHA :) 

Jordyn Taylor - Strong.

A Classic song - so applicable

Bet you thought that i'd be broken.
Mascara streakin' down my cheek.
Devastated, out the door way;
In a daze, a state of disbelief.
I bet you liked that; seeing me get mad.
but, baby i wont satisfy your need.
i've already been there, done that.
I'll be fine, even if you leave.

Ohh i dont need you anymore;
and don't you know, that

You, were the one that made me strong;
you made me stand up on my own,
with every cruel intention, you helped me find my
independence.

yeah it's all because of you,
that i have the strength i do,
to turn my pain to passion, instead of crashin'.
Boy i'm thankin' you. Boy i'm thankin' you.

Thinking back on how you changed me,
everytime, you tried to put me down.
even though you really hurt me,
underneath, myself is what i found.
so take a look inside these eyes now,
and say the things you want to say to me.
cuz i've already spread my wings out;
and your the one, the one who set me free.

Ohh i dont need you anymore
Ohh and don't you know, that

You were the one that made me strong,
you made me stand up on my own
with every cruel intention you helped me find my
independence

yeah it's all because of you
that i have the strength i do
to turn my pain to passion instead of crashin'
Boy im thanking you,

For all the tears i cried
for all the sacrafice
for all the drama
'cuz in the end it made me stronger
so trust me i'll be fine
baby i'll survive
without you, in my life, but i want you to know

that you
were the one that broke my heart
but i won't fall apart
no.. im so moving on
cuz babyyy

You were the one that made me strong,
you made me stand up on my own
with every cruel intention you helped me find my
independence

Yeah it's all because of you
that i have the strength i do
to turn my pain to passion instead of crashing
Boy I'm thanking you, Boy I'm thankin you

I FEEL LIKE THIS WHEN I SEE

LOL THIS MAKES SENSE

1. Girls with implants: FUCK YEAH! I GOT TITS!
2. Girls with naturally big boobs: I wish I had small boobs. Having big boobs is annoying.
3. Girls with average, noticeable boobs: FUUUUUUU, I HAVE NO BOOBS!!!
4. Girls with flat chests: FML…

Jenny found this. She admits she's a 3. I'm a 3.5? I mean they aren't big. So I'm a 4. JKS BAHA ;)

MY LIFE : HIS FAULT JKS.

Credits : loodlesdoodles.tumblr haha

Funny

I remember - DNMing with Lisa with doors closed and locked.

Kit? : WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING IN THERE?! Are you scissoring?
Me : YEAH HARDOUT
Lisa : What's Scissoring??!

LOL I get my fingers I do the motion and I tell her that both are girls. She still didn't get it.

BEST I EVER HAD.

YOU THE FUCKING BEST.

I'm talking about Ice-cream. What were you guys thinking?

No Hope

 

(my legs are crossed - bahaha out of place leg)

Seriously the transition from a fresh-faced ready to work - Eileen. To a tired-exhausted-worn-out Eileen is so ...

FINALLY FUCK MY LIFE.

SERIOUSLY JUST FUCK IT HAHA.

Today was hella hectic. Had Boob enlargement conversations with my manager.

Bec : Seriously, Jorga I want a boob job.
Jorga : I wouldn't get a boob job.
Bec : Am I the only one that wants a boob job? Eileen would you get a boob job? Wait yours are big already so never mind.
Me : Mines aren't big :(
Bec : They're bigger than mines.  So they're big. So Jorga what if someone paid for your boobs would you get them?
Jorga : Nah I don't think I can.

WORK WAS TIRING. BUT I COULD HACK IT. NO I COULDNT. LOL OH MY GOD THAT REMINDS ME. COTTON ON BODY the bras don't exceed cup D right?! Oh my gosh! ... If my boobs keep growing.. I wouldn't be able to take advantage of the WORKERS DISCOUNT.. LIFE IS OVER.  THERE IS NO GOD. LMFAOOOO. LIFE ENDS AT CUP D OMFGGGGGGG.

MET UP WITH MY BEAUTIFUL BOYS. RAYMOND/LENNY/JOHNSON. <3 and LISAAA GUANN! We went eating. YUM YUM I offered to drive Lenny. But unfortunatley he had plans with his friend who was set to depart Australia for a few years. They drank some weird .. korean alcohol. I dont drink alcohol so I dont really care. Cant believe we ate ice-cream and totally came back to my house and watched Shaolin Soccer DUBBED WHAT THE FUCK! was so dodgy!!!..

HAHA WHAT I WROTE ABOVE IS WHAT THE FUCK IN GENERAL.

Totally drove the guys/Lisa home and met up with GUY ;). FUCK MY LIFE. SERIOUSLY. I WAS SO TIRED AND DRAINED. THE DAY IN GENERAL = FUCK MY LIFE.

ZENNNN MODE. WITH A MOUSTACHE.

I BOUGHT MY DRESS FROM YOUR STORE ALFIE. SUCH A PRETTY DRESS. LOVE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF DISCOUNTS :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I need rest.

This morning I was awoken by a call from Gerry at 11:23PM. LOL Yes I have to be exact about the time. No cause I remember seeing the alarm and panicking. Ended up greeting Sophie and Gerry at the pickup and drop off area in Canley. Man! we were all pumped to op-shop. To find out that it is actually closed on holidays? fml. haha. Oh Well.  We then made our way from Chester Hill to Liverpool Westfield.  I can't believe how long we spent in there. Saw a few faces.

Carina - Thi - Kim - Milyn and others which I saw and didn't want to acknowledge existed. HAHA

Bought - Bra - seriously this obsession with underwear right now is killing me. HAHA And a dress and errr.. I don't know. Accessories - rings? .. headbands .. OH AND PADS. NORMAL PADS AND NIGHTTIME ONES. << HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Got home - exhausted. I then went to pick up Jason Songsataporn for climbing or something.  After failing to find a climbing buddy. Went woolies with him to buy pads (for me). Well liners to be exact. Then drove him outside Wendy's house where I called her and asked her out. Drove Jason home.

Our adventure consisted of  - driving Jason S home. Then driving to Cabramatta to greet her PapaRoti workers as they had a dinner. Then we left them early and headed to 7/10. We went there to say Happy Birthday to Dara .. to find out that he had actually already left the place and was at Richard's on the Park. So we then went there to wish him a Happy Birthday after we failed at the bowling alley. On the way to Richard's I went home to switch shoes. Then WISHED HIM A

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARA

Then.. drove back to Cabramatta to the restaurant in which Wendy's party was held. Then after that we decided to go Mc Donald's for Ice-cream. ;). I WAS FUCKING CRAVING ICE-CREAM LIKE SO BADLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY...... ANYWAYS. THEN TOTALLY went back to 7/10 AGAIN and then finally drove Wendy Home. WHAT AN ADVENTURE RIGHT?!?! AROUND THE WORLD IN 2 Hours shit. LOLOLOLOLOL

I AM TIRED. And waiting to talk to him :(.

ILOVERUBI

So I didn't sleep the whole night. I have a fear that if I fall asleep I wouldn't be able to wake up - even if the alarm was to ring on a loop in the background. :(
I went to work - looking surprisingly very bright and open-eyed. < wtf haha. anyways. Work was heaps fun. I spent first 3 hours with my manager all we did was stock shelves and label the shoes. First time I've worked on floor with my manager - and we totally hit it off! Oh my gosh! we had a very epic DNM. I didn't know her well enough and I let her know my life. She told me hers as well, we were on the same page in terms of relationships and life.

Rebecca (manager) : I'm lebanese
Me : What?
Rebecca : Why do people react like that?
Me : as in you are full no half?
Rebecca : Yes I'm full lebanaese.

Seriously! My manager Bec, does not look the bit Lebanese

I asked Jorge(2nd in charge) - what she was. She's 100% Australian

 

Jorge : So my boyfriend was like I can understand why people think you are Serbian - and I was like why? He was like I was watching a movie and you actually look very serbian cause you're half white and tan. HAHAHA

OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE GIRLS!!!! They sing along to every track on the disc!!!! Off the top of my head I love working with Michelle - Jorge and now Rebekah < i think that's the way its actually spelt but lol what'evs we call her Bec.

After I finished at 1 I went downstairs to buy Hemp and Asian red bull for my manager. LOL Hopefully she doesn't throw it away due to its sweetness like Jorge! Heheh. My younger brother drove me home and I totally crashed on the couch. I was too tired. No sleep and hardcore working fast paced with a line of customers buying shoes! I LOVE IT!.

_____

So I found my MP3 player it was lodged between my vagina NO IT WASN'T I found it in a box alongside papers for origami. I KNOW RIGHT MP-FUCKING-3 stone-age shit. I decided to listen to the music on it - LAUGHING MY BLOODY FKCING ASS OFFF. Half the shit was like oh wow I forgot this song existed and the others were WHAT THE FUCK I KNEW WHO THEY WERE EVEN BACK THEN!??!

I LOVE DELTAGOODREM GOOD TO SEE I HAD SO MUCH DELTA PRIDE. EVEN BACK IN THOSE DAYS

THE ONE SONG I KEPT LISTENING TO WHEN I WAS YOUNG! I even til - date still have the single ( as in the actual single in a cd case) LOL

DELTA GOODREM - I DON'T CARE

So one artist I admired back then was Jennifer Lopez. I know what the fuck - cut me some slack aiight? I was in year 3- 4 -5  then HAHA. I recall one time I had a conversation with Rosa. When she was still in New South Wales.

YOUNG INNOCENT MIND EILEEN : I don't like this song
Rosa : Jennifer Lopez I'm glad? Oh that song! Don't like it - it's dirty
Me : How?
Rosa : Umm? 'I'm glad when I'm making love to you'..do you know what making love is eileen?
Me (blank face) : No :/
Rosa : It's when you have sex eileen..

I recall from then everytime I heard that song I covered my ears. I actually started feeling scared listening to that song.  I AM NOT JOKING.  Which also reminds me of the time I first bought Cosmo. There was a sealed section. I recall the cover had Delta Goodrem - Which was mainly the reason why I bought it. I remember tearing out the sealed section because it was a sex quiz. I wrapped the sealed section in newspaper then threw it away. Because I felt haunted by it LOLOLOLOL FUCK MY FUCKING FUNNY LIFE.

I just re-listened to I'm glad. Oh what a sexual song. ahaha Any guy would hate having me as a girlfriend. My mind is too pure and innocent. ;) sexytime~

Excuse me while I annoy him.

 

 ALSO I FINALLY GET TO SEE MY PARENTS. HAHA DAYUM THEY LOOK GANGSTER IN THAT PHOTO AHAHAHHA. Jokes. I MISS MY MUMMY SO MUCHHHIESS! She bought me so many things - so she said. In the bottom window thats me and my brothers well obviously. I seriously can not wait for them to return. :'( they are returning on the 30th.

*notice the background! I just remembered. I went onto Grech's page to comment on how he literally made 4 guys vomit. He mentioned 2 girls 1 cup. HAHA and they decided to watch it. Patrick Pham you are fucking hilarious (oh .. what he did was totally vomit into a bag without even drinking).

"THAT SHIT WAS DISGUSTING" LITERALLY .. no I mean it literally.

My night revolved around DNMs. I spoke to Shirley and Lisa (seperately). I guess Shirley and I are on good terms again. Honestly, I've missed speaking to you and I'm sorry for all the things that happened in the time period when we were separated. I hope we get to hang out soon again :D. 

Also Paul was dressed up as Spiderman. I did not know why. I just remember what I said.
Me : Hey Paul! What's the name of your character again? something.. man..
Everyone : umm SPIDERMAN?!
Me : But he's black! didn't that guy have like an anti-spiderman name or something
Everyone : That's a different guy
WELL SORRRYYYYY I DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SPIDERMAN! SMD!

JOKE OF THE NIGHT!

Only cause I say it was the joke of the night.

Patrick : Hey Eileen have you seen Jason's Ipad?

Me : Yeah it's in my Ivagina.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH FARR THAT WAS GOLDENNN HAHAHA.

Okay lame shut up.

I am proud of my hair I rarely straighten it these days. It just happens to easily fall into place.

I love pulling that face. Why is my hair half black half faded brown? Baha My friend Attempted to Tip dye my hair Blue - but failed so Purple. :)

I ACTUALLY DIDN'T GO SHOPPING THIS YEAR :O WOAH. HAHA Oh well. I was to exhausted. I had Raymond, Johnson, Christina and Lisa over at night. We decided to watch one of my favourite horror flicks - Dead Silence.

Okay I really need to start updating this blog with photos. I bring my camera out but I never take photos. I am sure to take plentiful photos at an upcoming NYE PARTY.

Sadly, I've nominated self to be designated driver. Those I am driving owe me big time.

One of said persons definitely owes me big time! 
I WANT FUCKING ICE- CREAM.
Definitely craving it right now. 

FUCK MY LIFE.

______

NYEILEEN

I netbanked Chris money using that tag. Admit it it's pretty fucking funny.

Anyways - I am working a 4 hour shift tomorrow at Rubi. I can't wait! but I imagine the rush tomorrow to be extremely insane. Considering it's the 27th :O boxing day all over again!

Hopefully I will be driven home early so I can pop over to his place or something. I really want to see him right now. Eughh. I know you read my blog so don't be all like

"ooooh Eileen wants to see me"

Cause if you do I'm going to be all big headed and totally do my victory hand motions in your face. (this kind of sounds dirty LOL but yes I love my choice of words)

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT LOL.

GOOD NIGHT. HIM/THEY/EVERYONE.

HOLY SHIT BABY!

I almost gave a fuck.

You got me good I got it bad.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

So my Christmas Day was spent with someone very special. Yes. We didn't do much, honestly. Slept together (as in sleep - no dirty thinkers). Felt so nice to be with him today. I love his company so much more now. I constantly harass him with text messages saying I miss him - in reality I genuinely do.

There were no presents exchanged. None was needed. Hugs and Kisses.
I gave him a special gift. To me, it was a gift of accomplishment. He felt happy/sad at the same time. I'm pretty proud of myself as a matter of fact. Just know he loved it :)

I told him I've never felt so comfortable with another person ever. I'm pretty happy with what we're doing right now. We needn't any titles right? :P

Below : we exchanged deep and meaningful Christmas wishes. So I whole-heartedly responded to a text message that was typed whilst he was completely off his head. It's okay handsome. I woke up the next day to my message tone. Farr!!

Fuck My Life, Literally.

Woke up at like what 7:30AM and cleaned the house like crazy. My parents have been gone for a while now I am forever the mother figure for 3 weeks. Well It's ending soon so yay?! Damn this independence business! I need my mother and father back :(  - they are currently in Vietnam. So yes we can do anything we want at any hour of the night - WOOOOH!!! I haven't seen him for one day and it felt like so long - what - the - fuck. :)

Around 6:00PM Kim Chau and I headed out to go 32 hour Parramatta Westfields. Fuck My Life!! The drive was a pain not to mention when we arrived we had struggled to find parking. 15 mins later man leaves the gym. HALLELUJAH!! We shot gunned his perfectly positioned parking spot - right next to the door :). We were heading off to visit Jason and Chiv who had been sitting there patiently waiting for us to arrive.  Jason luckily scored like 3 free burgers? hahaha cause they kept fucking up with his order.. and GODDAMNIT HIS COKE WASN'T COLD. Oh I am so angry .. on his behalf.

Kim and myself walked around and started purchasing many things. Mainly clothing. So 20% of $60 isn't $40 right? I mean I bought two tops and I only paid $40. <3 people with bad maths!!! I walked into Cotton On Body! Poor ladies were struggling they really wanted me to work. They asked if I could do a 12 - 8 shift? I think it was. I denied. :'( HAHA We walked around gazing at lingerie and other what nots. Discussing, what is romantic to do for the other half :) Great to get an insight -- and ideas. HAHA ;) OUR DISCUSSIONS ARE ALWAYS SO FREAKING HECTIC! We talk about girl stuff ... like periods and shit - no we did not talk about periods ==''

Took Kim home. at roughly 10? After shopping like crazy. I felt so dirty (like sweaty eugh) yet I still had elsewhere to tend too. I drove to his house - discussed my day and talked about periods and tampons. . I kept burping. I should be more lady-like but I'm not. I burp in cups - as Alfie said "I keep it real" CHYEAHHHH :) Roughly 1am I went to Westfields Parra AGAIN with a friend. Omg I drove there and back TWICE!!!! This time around there was so many parking spaces near the door - yet I decided to park far away HAHAHA. Haha friend kept complaining like a bitch X_X'. Probably the effects of the Alize bottle he took from my room! We went searching for a present for a secret santa - totally taking advantage of my WORKERS DISCOUNT!  Bumped into a few people wow at 2am people still shopp! it was just as packed as it was when I went at 7pm! Driving home we ended at my place again to wrap his present. Then drove him home haha.
___________________
A bit (okay I lied, maybe a lot) about yesterday! I attended LENNY AND CECILIA'S 19th Birthday at Bondi Beach. Lovely weather it was - not too bad. I didn't even go remotely near the water. A great day i met a lot of people. Struggling to remember names. I remember a guy called Loi but myself calling him Lloyd and Eight Pack Eric? LOL. A painfully long train ride home saw me getting into Alfies car and being driven to Parramatta to pick up TIM MANTIRI so we could go to eat Pancakes on the Rocks. Blah blah he ate there already the night before so ... I suggested we go TK SOMETHING - one for us to try it and two for me to say hi to my friends :D I inisted on going home first after dinner as I figure that would be most convienient for Alfie seeing as I live like less than 4 mins away from the restaurant. FUCK MY LIFE when Tim, Alfie and I ran to the car there was this guy standing near the randomly positioned pots PEEING. SERIOUSLY, I SHOULD'VE FOLLOWED TIM who walked the smart way and avoiding seeing anything. I FUCKING FOLLOWED ALFIE! OH MY GOD! I kept scratching my head - cause oh yeah eileen thats how you totally avoid seeing a guy PEEINGGG. LOL

Not to long - My empty house was filled with faces (other than brothers). First it was Johnson - Michael - Lisa - John. Then we waited for Raymond - so we could pick him up. He had his period so we had to wait for his PMS to subside. Haha! we had to wait for him to return from the airport from picking up his aunt/uncle. I SO FUCKING WANTED TO WATCH THE MOVIE! then other plans were made. haha not to be discussed here. Just know you left your chocolate here. 

The coolest joke I've been telling everyone.

So like if I marry a man whose surname is Nguyen. I would name my first daughter Jen. So she would be JEN NGUYEN.. YOU GET IT?!?!?! LOLOLLOL GENUINE!?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHA .. oh man I am fucking hilarious.

So you read my blog ay. I GENUINELY MISS YOU - with a passion that burns (FAV QUOTE).We spend not enough time together :'( We keep getting distracted .. damn very distracting things X_X" lolololololol I hope you didn't get in trouble :(  BAHAHAAHAAHA

I am nightblind.   (really I am)  and he is not. Lights were off

Me : Can you see me right now?
Him : Yes
Me : *SMILES
Him : You're smiling.
Me : What am I doing now? *sticks out tongue with obvious sound effect
Him : That's not a hard one - sticking tongue out.

Well something on those lines.

THAT REMINDS ME! LOL MY LOGIC (on train to bondi convo between Johnson and I)

Me : Johnson I can't see your eyes through your sunglasses, therefore! YOU CAN'T SEE ME
*FLIPS JOHNSON OFF LOLOLOLOL
Johnson : Umm I can see you know that.

So the idea is if I can't see them - they can't see me! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHA LMFAOOO!!!!


OKAY THE TIME NOW IS 7:16AM and its Christmas Eve. I CANT BELIEVE I AM AWAKE RIGHT NOW!

Serious business bro!

Okay - back on topic

So my blog posts lately have been about me gushing(BEST CHOICE OF WORD LMFAOOOO) over this one guy. Okay that's pretty disgusting. My posts have been about my love life. It's been quite a turbulent past few months for myself. I've annoyed friends throughout my life with my pain and mistakes. I deserve a break. I'm going to remain single for a while. I've countless times said to myself I should be in a relationship. But I was always just putting thoughts in my head. I really don't need to be involved with anyone right now.  Friends with benefits, anyone? I AM SO JOKING. No, that's pretty fucked up lol.  I'm now officially on duty to my friends. I'll be there when they need it - as I feel its only fair that way. 6 years they've had to tolerated my high and low points of my relationship and my life.

I'll remain emotionally attached to the boy (current). I'll continue to appreciate him being there for me. I miss you :(

My blog posts have got to seriously be back on topic again.

You make me feel pretty all over again.

 fuck/suck ;)

A treacherous walk through really rough terrain (the grass was really high and it annoyed me). I am pathetic walking around grass! Especially when the grass was 30CM high. I kept leaping around it I was terrified I had stepped on bugs or bothered them :'(. I held onto his hand and I kept jumping up and down for dear life. fuck my life!.

We stopped to look at a wall? Well supposedly it's a really crazy graffitti wall. It was a bit ehh :/ he told me that in the past there was the craziest print on one of of the walls but it got painted over with black paint. All in all pretty interesting stuff. haha.

guy : It's pretty romantic....
me : oh yeah this is deadset romantic (jumps up and leaps over weeds) BAHAHA


Poor guy on our way back to the car he stepped into a hole. Sprained his ankle slightly :( Hope you're okay! I'm pretty burnt at the moment :'(

@ ANNA! no guilt :D all in good fun.

 LOL APPARENTLY HE READ THIS AND I MADE HIM SOUND LIKE A DOUCHBAG!! HHAAHA not even!! :P

I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH HIM (@ ANNA B) HAHA

Okay, so I deleted you off Facebook. Best decision. Why the fuck are you reading this right now. I had a friend tell me you finally got a girlfriend. So what? At first I thought - you are being just pathetic. I don't know why I ever wanted to remain friends. How can someone remain friends with someone that is fucking abusive (PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY). I AM FOREVER FUCKING SCARRED. Who gets angry and pulls on an act in front of friends?. Feeding me Lies - False promises. WHAT IS THAT?!  I don't give a fuck if you have a girlfriend. I thought i did - but I genuniely don't.  I was beside him and at the moment I saw your profile - it was confirmed you had a GF so what??! My face dropped I was silent for a bit. He asked me did I still have feelings for you - I said 'No'. My response wasn't immediate. I lagged it a bit. He looked at me and questioned whether I truly meant it. I did.
I did because - it was that moment that I realised I'm finally free. FREE FROM ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH. I feel that I now have someone.. who is directing me away from all the drama you've inflicted on me. A genuine sweetheart. I don't consider this a battle of break ups. Of course I'd want to prevail over you. But my 'love' made a good point - If you give a second thought about his life you are letting him win.

Right now. I'm still single. I have amazing friends (lol i know you guys would read this - of course you guys would) AN Amazing job! I really needed this distraction from you thanks for being there for me. I'm sorry for fucking up your sleeping patterns - among other things. LOLOLOL ;) :D

He thinks

My mortal enemy is HOT. What - the - fuck.  BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nah I agree I reckon mortal enemy is not to bad. HAHA I should be angry at him more often.

Feeling young again.

I find it impossible to sleep unless I get a text message from you nowadays. You've been there all along - just a shame I never took the step to try to get to know you more better. I SO WANT TO BE WITH YOU! OH MY GOD. ITS SO FUCKING INSANE! IT'S LITERRALLY DOING MY HEAD IN! :'(

 I never believed that it was possible to find someone after your heart has been broken into bits by someone you supposedly thought would be there for you till the end. My life in the present has proven me wrong. Yes I constantly think about you :) Yes I like you. I'm not lying I genuinely do - I know when you ask me that I answer with a giggle or direct the conversation away. Truth is I didn't know whether I liked you or not. Because I had just exited a painful chapter of my life. I had to test myself first. I've tried to stay away from talking to you. If I had not liked you I wouldn't be near my phone constantly awaiting a text message or even a call. Cause my heart literally skips when I get one - and dies when I know it isn't from you HAHAHA. OMG I SOUND SO FUCKING DUMB BUT I DO LIKE YOU!! AND WHEN YOU FUCKING SAY SHIT LIKE "I LOVE YOU/LIKE YOU" under your breath deliberately trying to make it sound like you didn't, it kills me. LOL in a good way! You question why I'm different to you than to my friends I've answered - Point of no return? GOOD GIRL I AM(A)

AND YOU ARE VERY ATTRACTIVE - I TOTALLY WOULD ;) as I would to Jessica Stam HAHA. It flatters me that you think about me and when you look at me :) I do the same. AND YES ;) HAHAHA Continue to tell me you like me :D Cause I'll do the same. I really do like you - I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU. I DONT WANT TO ADMIT IT BUT I DO! Catch me off guard sometimes when I am deep in thought. BAHHA

LIKE (we're still questioning love right? I totally agree with your view). I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU - TO HOLD YOUR HANDS - TO KISS(?) YOU. TOOO... .. BAHAHAH ;) TOO ANYTHING. JUST I REALLY WANT YOU IN MY LIFE.

I HOPE YOU READ THIS (BTW SMILING FOR YOU AT THE MOMENT) .. HAHA say i don;t smile for you but other people. Always smile for you. Btw your observant ways scare me a tad bit :S

I am a lesbian

I'm so done with relationships.

ALFIE I KNOW YOU READ MY POSTS! IF YES FORWARD ME YOUR BLOG LINK AND CALL ME ON SUNDAY 12th @ 2:45PM > around then? THANK YOU :D

No nip piercing.

WTF WHO WROTE THAT?

NIP piercing, nuff'said.