BAD SKIN

PUT IT DOWN ON ME PUT IT DOWN ON ME, DOWN DOWN ON ME PUT IT DOWN ON ME.

Okay, that song is so etched in my head its not funny. The drive by song Cindy Tan and I sing when we are driving. It's amazing. So my car has been in the fix for a while now - roughly 5 days already? It kills my life. What happened was - I was involved in a car accident.  Don't pull any female asian driver jokes I swear. It was entirely the guy's fault. I just remembered it happened on the night before I took the guys to Zaia. What a terrible experience. Driving a car that was quarter dented on the door :'(

____________

So my skin has been acting up heaps in the past few weeks. Since Uni started - I've come to a conclusion it's all that stress build up I have had. I have so very bad skin. I hate it. My skin has never acted up in this way before - EVER! Hence why I actually seeked help. From the Body Shop. LOL I ended up buying their Seaweed Range. Thank god it doesn't smell like seaweed - it's a beautiful scent though. Love it. Twice a day I cleanse - tone - moisturise. My smile is so fake. Sigh.

 The image above is me at my rawest state - no make up.

 Really bad eye bags though :'(

MAKE UP TIMEEEE (yaknow - like T-SHIRT TIME)
All I used was LIQUID LINER/SILVER LINER - MASCARA and LIPSTICK (GAGA2. M.A.C)
(NO BLUSH + NO FOUNDATION/CONCEALER ANYTHING)

Don't believe that my skin has improved? HEHE I'd rather you not but if you click on the actual size you can see my skin has its redness its imperfections. SO I am quite proud right now.

 MAKE UP REMOVAL

HAHA I HAVE SUCH A PUDGEY FACE.

Sigh. I look so unhealthy these days. I've dramatically dropped heaps of weight. My face isn't as round anymore which is a good thing I guess - but my arms look ugly. You can actually see my collar bone. I remember a few weeks back - my stomach was just terrible. It got to the point where you could see my ribs. I tried on clothing and almost cried because of how disgusting I looked. I actually lost my curves. Even right now, I hate myself for bringing myself to that point. I hate looking at myself and seeing that I've lost the one thing I was proud of. I understand that girls want to be skinny and stuff. But if you're like me who is.. well WAS proud to have curves - it's the most heartbreaking thing to watch. Even worst when you're trying on a tight body suit and having your ribs stick out. It's disgusting.
It's even worst when you know your friends around are trying to help. I'm so sorry I inflicted so much pain to everyone. I mean it. I know you guys were all trying to help me. I'm so sorry. It's even worst when I had my mother break down and cry. I can't believe I watched her cry. I couldn't help but watch her cry and cry myself. Never in my life have I heard the words '
I don't want to lose my daughter'